Race Results

The Lent Bumps are split into seven divisions (four for men, three for women) of 17 boats. The top boat of each division (apart from the top division) races at the bottom of the next division, and so a continuous chart can be drawn mapping the progress of all crews. Since the races are run during term time, the races are run over five days with each division taking one day off to allow all the races to run.

Men's 1st VIII

Day 3 - Rowed Over

We set out today knowing we were chasing a quick Queens crew, but we also knew that we were faster. As a result our game plan, as with any bumps race, was to go hard off the start and catch them dosing. So with a solid start under our belt and a good stride down 1st post reach we narrowed the gap to 1 length and slowly started to reel them in. However a strong push by Queens outside the plough stopped our advance and held us.

From here we then proceeded to top finish with neither crew really gaining a further advantage on the other. Today was a much trickier row over yesterdays with the water behind Queens being much more turbulent than it was behind Jesus. Despite this we still rowed well even if the rate did drop to 33 at times.

However with a sluggish Jesus crew behind its just us verus Queens again tomorrow and I for one really don't want to row the full course again! We're going out for the bump!

Men's 1st VIII

Day 2 - Bumped Jesus

After our success against Clare yesterday our row down was much more confident. However the anticipation of chasing Jesus brought a little rush into the slide towards the catch. That said our practice starts and high rate bursts were solid. And so...

We sat on the start with Immy reaching out the boat more and more as the chain went taught...then the boom of the cannon echoed over the river and caught us by suprise! The start was sadly untidy as a result but we quickly recovered it and strode out to 37. Down 1st post reach we started to gain on Jesus, and some great coxing by Immy narrowed this to 2/3s of a length as we passed through plough reach. At the point where so many THBC crews have fallen apart in the past, the hours of training and effort put in by the crew paid off, as the boat was picked up round Ditton to bring us to overlap with Jesus. As the whistle started to blow continuously we put in a massive push to finish them off with spectacular results as our bow mounted 7s blade!

In summary this was an excellent row with a brilliant result! But if we can find a bit more patience on the recovery for tomorrow and so let the boat do more work I know we can find even more speed!

Men's 1st VIII

Day 1 - Bumped Clare

After a slightly shakey row down THBC's finest gentlemen sat on the start and a calmness descended over the crew. The start cannon then fired....draw 1, draw 2, draw 3...and they set off at a rate 42- starting our bumps campaign!

On the stride call the crew decided that rates lower than 38 were for wimps so the gap between us and Clare quickly narrowed to a length. 1st post reach then flew by and suddenly we were upon first post corner! With a a superior line and rowing, M1 then dropped the gap to 2 thirds of a length and without warning Clare crumbled!

Before Graham had time to blow his whistle we had overlap and then proceeded to ram Clare's cox in the back for being rude enough not to conceed earlier!

All-in-all the row was one of M1's best pieces that felt like it was just one stroke at a time despite being at 38. If we can replicate it tomorrow I have no doubt that we can get Jesus!

NB- No coxes were harmed in the process of this bumps race.

Day 4 - Rowed Over

Women's 1st VIII

Women's 1st VIII

Day 4 - Rowed Over

Wow - what a gutsy row. Gutted that we didn't catch them. Jesus put in a a really solid row and unlike our earlier prey, kept it together when we got close and kept pushing away from us.

We were 'threee quarters' of a length off round first post then down the gut closed even further. We had a few bad strokes round Grassy and dropped down to half a length. A couple of power tens got us overlap, but not enough for the bump. Down the reach we oscillated between overlap and a few feet but couldn't quite manage to make the necessary contact. After more bumps tens than I care to remember, we were absolutely done by the railway bridge and Jesus slipped away.

We've had a fantastic term and we've beaten a lot of crews - we are all very proud of ourselves, and especialy Martin for being a bit crazy and dreaming up some wacky race plans that allowed us to beat the headship crew!

Day 3 - Bumped Caius

After a good start to the week our confidence had grown, and although we were expecting it to be a little tougher than thursday, we knew what needed to be done. Not our most explosive start, a little less TNT than earlier in the week but we found a strong rhythm and steadily narrowed the gap. A very good line around grassy by Steph gave us half a length and some strong pushes finished Cauis off along Plough reach. Job done, Jean Luc the zebra duck travelled home in style.

Good work ladies! Tomorrow, same again, nice and ruthless...

Women's 1st VIII

Day 1 - Bumped St. Catharine's

W1 set off today looking amazing. Well, the rowing was pretty standard, but the kit was amazing - stripey socks all round, sexy gimp suits, and most importantly, our snazzy new 80s-tastic headbands. How could a crew wearing white visors (Cats) stand a chance?

After a great practice start on the way up and some solid looong strooong rowing we were feeling good. When we got up to the top however the adrenaline started to pump. We handed out Jean-Luc, our 'debra' (Duck/Zebra) french mascot to our trustworthy bank party, hoping to be reunited with him after a successful finish.

Bang, cannon goes off and we explode off the line (like, TNT, dynamite, etc etc). A good start keeps us level pegging and we head off down the first stretch with Steph calling power 10s with horrifyingly increasing frequency. Shouts and screams from the hoards on the bank, Maggies lagging behind us, but no idea how close we really are to Cats. Then the whistle blows. 'Yes, we can do it' we thought.

Great cornering round first post by Steph, but we still needed a good 'squeeze down the gut' (LOLZ) in order to catch them. By grassy, I (Fiona) and probably others were feeling like our lungs were going to come out our mouths (what would we get for that Kipper?) However, a good corner and a final push on the legs got us up to them with a clean bump, nudging their cox for a good 5 strokes before they conceded outside the Plough.

Good job girls! Lets do the same tomorrow, although, can we try to bump a bit quicker please?!

Women's 1st VIII

Day 2 - Bumped Clare

With our first day nerves (thankfully) out of the way, we approached Day 2 with a calm confidence. We knew we were capable of catching Clare, and with the pain of hanging at half a lengh off Catz for just a bit too long still in our lungs from the previous day, we were determined to get it over with quicker today, and not let up when we started gaining.

We had a controlled row down and a strong practice start outside the Plough. Off the start we wound to 42, and though our stride wasn't as smooth as I (Rachel) would have liked, it was no matter as we were already getting calls from our bank party that we were going up. We kept plowing on and heard 3/4 length from Martin coming down first post reach, then half a length. After that, some push for 10 calls from Steph kept us putting the pressure on as we began to hit their wash. We bumped coming out of first post corner (and on a late concession by the Clare cox!). We were very pleased to have implemented our race plan perfectly, with energy to spare for the coming days.

Jean-Luc was then returned to his rightful place in the cox seat. Greenery was distributed. Job well done, ladies. Roll on Friday.

Men's 2nd VIII

Day 4 - Bumped Clare II for Blades

Not much to say about the actual rowing (as it was pretty terrible). But we did what we needed to:

1. Bump Clare II
2. At least look vaguely good through the Gut for the Girton College video camera


For the past term, every single member of M2 has shown the commitment and dedication that would be expected of an M1 crew. It is because of this that a boat of mostly novice rowers turned into one of the fastest boats in Div 3 if not one of the fastest M2 boats in the Lents. By going up 5 over the course of 4 days, M2 were officially the most successful THBC boat on the river, and were awarded discretionary blades. It is somewhat fitting of the pitiless nature of bumps racing that the best day of rowing was the row-over, chasing a double overbump.

Over the week of Lents, M2 has showed their power (bumping Fitz II in 20 strokes), their endurance (being within 2 lengths of a double overbump on Churchill II), and being able to win, even on a bad day (Clare II). There is no doubt that this can only mean further success is attainable in Mays.

Men's 2nd VIII

Day 3 - OVERBUMPED Robinson II

After an epic row over, most of M2 were looking forward to bumping (and possibly doing some "unintentional" damage) to the pedestrian Jesus crew that had made Wednesday so difficult for us. As is so often the case in bumps, things were not so straightforward.

Our anger at the possibility of a rather serendipitous King's crew getting blades soon disappeared as Rob calmly told us that they had driven into the bank off the start, where they were then promptly bumped by what must have been a very surprised Jesus III. However, this was replaced by the somewhat mortifying thought (at least for some of us) that we had to yet again go for an overbump.

It wasn't clean, it wasn't pretty, and it certainly wasn't dry, but coming around Ditton, Robinson took one look at us and crumbled. The umpire even complained that we were coming up to them "too quickly".


Men's 2nd VIII

Day 1 - Bumped Fitzwilliam II

A well disciplined row down allowed us to keep up the pressure on King's II, who were going to be chasing us. We spun onto our bungline, and without a trace of nerves, pushed off aggressively at the start. Martin pushed us off from the bank into the perfect line and within five strokes we were less than a length behind Fitz. By the stride, we were on a canvas and we bumped a couple of strokes afterwards. The race was over before the motorway bridge, with King's falling away behind us. A solid start to the Lents for the mighty M2.

Men's 2nd VIII

Day 2 - Rowed Over

Today's racing epitomised the harsh nature of bumps to M2.

Chasing a good King's II, we pushed them right from the start, and past the motorway bridge were about a length in on them and gaining steadily. However, soon after, they bumped out on a very slow Jesus III. Upriver, Clare II had bumped out on an equally slow Robinson II. Chasing a double overbump, we rowed out of our skins through the gut and down Plough reach, and put fear into the faces of Churchill II as we came around Ditton, only 4 lengths behind. We closed it to within 2 lengths by bottom finish, but they clearly hadn't pushed as hard as we did through the course and had enough energy left in the tank to hold us off.

We were all exhausted by the end. Rob had clocked us going through the entire course at rate 36. It was a fantastic row by the whole crew, and thoroughly unlucky that we did not get the reward that we deserved.

Jesus III had better watch their stern on Friday.

Womens 2nd VIII

Day 3 - Rowed Over

Trinity Hall W2 was arguably the strongest crew in its division yesterday.

In fact, sitting at station 12 upon their arrival, the crew discovered a bookish young man, notebook and pencil in hand, doodling with the following:

"\,W = -\Delta U and

U_e = -\int\vec{F}\cdot d\vec{x}

but the ideal catch will follow Hookes Law:

{F = -k x}\,

Thus, the work expected from this crew (and therefore its stored potential energy) will then be:

U_e = -\int\vec{F}\cdot d\vec{x}=-\int {-k x}\, dx = \frac {1} {2} k x^2. "

"Off the charts!", he remarked as he biked away.

With such an endorsement, the crew sat ready.


Perfect start as the puddles tore through the calm Cam. But what is this? Crabs at stations 10, 8 and 6? Game over for the six crews immediately upstream - and within seconds.

And what remains? Open water. From the Motorway Bridge to the Railings - nary another boat in sight.

Likewise, glancing astern, the women had pulled so far ahead of Newnham and Clare Hall they too were nowheres to be seen.

And thus the massive amount of potential energy which was the W2 had to be exorcised in disciplined fashion as that magnificent boat with its stunning crew simply rowed down the course as if heavenly hands had parted all traffic that they be seen by all awash in the sunlight of the day.

Tough to Bump when there are no boats to bump.

Row Over - Day 3.

Well Done W2!!

Day 4 - Bumped Sidney Sussex II

The question for Trinity Hall's W2 boat was not "if" they would Bump, but "when" they would Bump.

W2 was chasing poor Sidney Sussex, already down three after three days racing.

Knowing this and knowing how strong was her crew, Trinity Hall's cox Trina Borrow had earlier in the day ordered her crew to bring a book to the start. At the four minute cannon, she then instructed the group to open their books and have a read. As the one minute cannon and its trailing start cannon blasted their ear shattering "BAMS!" - our lot simply sat still, in silent repose, otherwise engaged in their respective stories.

After ten pages or so, cox asked the ladies to put down their books and sit ready.............counting down from "7" (and stopping at "4") the crew launched another perfect start on cox' "GO!")

Sidney Sussex was then bumped twenty yards or so after the motorway bridge. Perhaps 23 strokes into the race. :-)

(Special note to our dear Jayne Birkby, seven seat, who finishes her Trinity Hall rowing career at +8. Well Done Jayne!)

And Well done W2!!!!

Womens 2nd VIII

Day 2 - Bumped Newnham III

To be honest, this writer is in fear. Whenever anything about W2 is addressed, a cold, grim chill overcomes the body, the goose flesh arrives and the sounds of ravens rattle the windows.

This is not dark magic nor is it some kind of psychosis.

This is the affect upon anyone in contact with the strongest, most terrifying crew in this year's Lent Bumps division - Trinity Hall W2.

The same is doubly true for any boat which unfortunately has the bad luck of stationing above the Demonic Damens at the Lent Bumps.

Think about it: In Day 1's race, right after the start, the Peterhouse seven seat looked up for just a nanosecond, caught sight of the black and white cruiser bearing down on her cox, and froze instantly causing a massive crab. Game Over - Bump to Trinity Hall. 12 seconds flat.

(As if that wasn't enough, that Peterhouse crew, shaking with fright, space blankets deployed, college chaplain summoned, sat terrified as the Trinity Hall cox reached for her dagger.)

Yesterday, Day 2, same thing. Cannon, start, fear, terror, uncontrolled sobbing, crab. Bump for Trinity Hall - 15 seconds. The eyes of the victors bright red, their lomes hot to the touch, steam rising from around the boat and cox sporting fangs.

Scary stuff.

Stay tuned for Friday. As luck(sic) would have it, Peterhouse finds itself again stationed above Trinity Hall (sans seven seat - who is resting comfortably at Addenbrook's we're told). Rumour has it garlic, eye-of-Yak, and tooth of eel has been requisitioned by the Peterhouse porters.

Won't work. These Trinity Hall women are simply not to be messed-with, on or off the river. How strong are they? This writer just caught a crab going for coffee!

Well Done W2!!!

Womens 2nd VIII

Day 1 - Bumped Peterhouse II

Well.........it sorta went like this:

There was a start.
There was sprint.
And there was a Trinity Hall cox - eyes ablaze - who was intent, by gum, on impaling at some point something in front of her.

It just so happened the 'something' was the Peterhouse boat. Sitting almost dead in the water after having crabbed violently, they sat an easy target for the Trinity Hall Troopers. Stroke Charlotte Hill, anticipating the gouging, purposely crabbed herself in an attempt to diminish the velocity of Trinity Hall's boat before the broadside was delivered.

Too late.
The Cascading Crescents "filleted" the Peterhouse stern.
And a proper Bump was awarded Trinity Hall.
In about 12 1/2 seconds.
Well Done W2!!

Men's 3rd VIII

Day 4 - Bumped Queens IV

Several of you rowers, responding to recent race reports, complained that they were not sesquipedalian and lacked that arcane style which ordinarily characterize such updates. When writing to the Trinity Hall rowing community, it is known that lexiphanic use will stimulate curiosity and fix both report and event more firmly in the mind. In February, seeking to recruit new Crescent rowers among the intellectually puissant, the reporting style was modified and proved ineffective but we are not struthious and now revert to our narrowly successful formula, which has produced a ninety percent response:

M3, putting aside the penultimate outing and concentrating on a dipthonic approach, maneuvered dexterously bumping Queen's IV well-nigh grassy corner.

So there!

Well Done M3!!!!! *

* [Respects to Mr. Brian Iverson some of whose recent words this writer has borrowed to "liven up" the discourse.]

Men's 3rd VIII

Day 2 - Rowed Over

"Luck" has been defined as "where preparation meets opportunity" whilst "Bad Luck" has been defined as "where Queens meets Downing."

Such was the case in Day 2 of the Lent Bumps as the boys of Trinity Hall M3 rowed an absolutely perfect race - only to be gutted by "Bad Luck."

Having had a picture perfect start, the boys sprinted to within a length of Queens after only 24 strokes. Then the long, strong rhythmic effort of the newly relaxed crew pulled inch-by-inch on Queens.

(Incidentally, "Newly Relaxed" (or N.R. for short) is but an understatement regarding M3. In Day 1's race, each of the crew resembled a Robin Williams (the actor) on steroids. But clearly something had happened to this group to calm them down. Rumor has it that after Day 1's race, six seat, "Big Dave" as he is known (but not to be confused with "Guiness Dave" or "Little Dan" or "The Other Dan" (who is also known as "Tim")) was seen writing alternative race reports on Facebook not only in beautiful script but also in a language not recognized by anyone in the Club. When confronted by cox, Big Dave, honest as the day is long, revealed that he was not writing race reports at all; that he was instead utilizing the ancient Bohemic art of 'Calming Calligraphy' to settle his nerves came as a complete surprise to the rest of the crew. Seizing upon the opportunity, Stroke Colin rounded up the chaps, herded them en masse to Staples, and bought each and every one of them a calligraphy quill pen complete with parchment. There, then, on the boathouse floor Tuesday night the boys engaged collectively, smiles on their faces, in the ancient right of "Calming Calligraphy." Clearly the effort worked. The crew showed up for Day 2 relaxed, focused and a mere shadow of its frenetic self.)

Back to the race: Just round 'grassy corner' the boys overlapped Queens. Within another 3 - 5 seconds, the Bump was theirs. Alas, Downing 6 seat caught a crab just a second before our boy's triumph. Downing shuddered and Queens simply rolled up Downing's stern for the Bump - just as the THM3 bow ball touched the Queen's bow side. "'Bump to Queens' - off you go M3", shouted the umpire. And the good guys had to row over the course - in perfect calming harmony.

Bad luck - to be true. But what a wonderful row!! And what a wonderful crew!!

[Trinity Hall Boat Club M3 "Calming Calligraphy" Parchments now on sale - GBP 500 for a signed original. Make cheques payable to THBC M3.]

Well done M3!

Men's 3rd VIII

Day 1 - Bumped Jesus IV

The reader might recall that In the Superman comics, our hero found himself living in a backwards world when he was, by way of red kryptonite, catapulted into the Bizarro World.

Such was the case with our hero Trinity Hall M3 today as it ultimately managed to achieve its Bump - Bizarro World notwithstanding.

M3 left the Boathouse deck looking like it was ready for the Olympic trials - balanced, controlled, disciplined, relaxed intensity. The towpath was teeming with gawkers wondering if the crew had indeed marshaled on the wrong day.

But then, quite unexpectedly, when the crew completed its spin at Baitsbite, instead of M3, another crew had appeared in the same boat - the opposite in every which way of the crew which had just come downstream.

It turns out the boat had, indeed, crossed the ether threshold into Bizarro World, everything had become "backwards."

Instead of flying off at the start with stability and controlled force, the eight plus one found themselves bludgeoning their way through what were otherwise calm waters. Helpless to quell the affect, the gang simply plodded along trying to catch the same Catz boat they had so easily destroyed in the Pembroke regatta less than a fortnight prior.

Martin Fordham, Trinity Hall Boatman, Sage and resident Dumbeldore, immediately recognized the aura as one of negative energy produced by rowers who lose their "edge" just before a start. Unseen by anyone, Martin pulled out the wand awarded to him in 1978 by a wizard, late of Trinity Hall, who during an unsuspecting moment in July of that year, emerged unseen from one of the ancient crew boards overlooking the Men's Changing Room and placed the wand into the hands of an entranced Martin. (The full story of Martin Fordham and the Burning Boathouse will be disclosed in these pages at a later date.)

Wand ready, Martin pointed upstream and commanded in a loud voice: "Respecto Boatsinfrontofus Carnageous!!

Immediately sirens went off and the crews were held.

Turns out 12 boats had collided upstream and carnage lay everywhere between grassy corner and the Plough.

"Spin and re-row!" commanded the marshals as Martin hid the wand.

Thus it was. Stations 18 through 10 were re-deployed and the relevant crews were awarded another chance at greatness.

"The spells only work to stop a race." whispered Martin to no one in particular. "And only once per term. Little effect on the Bizarro spell"

It was indeed so. M3 had returned to the starting line - but as soon as it spun, it looked like M84, not M3.

Fortunately, bludgeoning is relative. And although M3 bludgeoned its way down the re-row, it bludgeoned better than the Jesus boat it was chasing. Moreover, a small secondary spell: "Ohno better starto" was heard to come from good witch Fiona before the repeated start and it must be admitted M3's start the second time 'round was clearly superior than its first.

In any event, magic aside, the boys bumped in muggle fashion right at grassy corner. Well done.

Tomorrow, however, M3 simply must return to its original and favored form if it is to make it "two-in-a-row."

But - Well Done M3!!!!

(P.S. - this certainly is the year for magic. Who knew? Mens Captain, it is rumoured, bicycled the course tonight uttering "Cleanero Bizzaro Awayo." One has it on good authority that the river is now clean of spells and tomorrow's race will be on even terms.)

Day 3 - Bumped Downing III

Trinity Hall M3 was charged today with rowing exactly the same race it did yesterday - clean, powerful, dominant. Indeed, yesterday's row had been perfect, in M3 terms, and the deserved (albeit elusive) Bump should have been its.

But today the boys had a grudge match to win. Chasing Downing, they had the chance to destroy the very crew which caused yesterday's Bump to go to someone other than its rightful owner. (See yesterday's Race Report.)

So everyone expected the winning racing discipline - but with a bit of added "zip" at the finish.

Well, I'm here to tell ya: there was zip, there was zip. But what we really saw was beyond "zip" - this was "zap".

And so the crew paddled to the start as if trying to outrun something; as if being chased by hounds.

The crew catapulted off the start in perfect unison, upped the rating for the sprint and settling at a nice 34. Downing simply deflated with each stroke until the "zap" crew wore it down into the likes of a mere novice boat struggling to stay afloat.

Bump easily in favour of Trinity Hall.

Well Done M3!!!!

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